


Departures

by dreamingwithoutyou



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alpha!Hijikata, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anxiety Attacks, Bonding, Canon Compliant, Eventual mpreg, Gin is no weak Omega, HijiGinHiji, M/M, Mating, Omega!Gintoki, Omegaverse, One-sided bonding, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, more tags to come, set after Farewell Shinsengumi arc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-08 16:31:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11650425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingwithoutyou/pseuds/dreamingwithoutyou
Summary: Gintoki covered everything perfectly. He was known as Shiroyasha and feared by his enemies. He was always careful, he would not let his mask fall nor the secret slip. No one could know about the real him. He believed that he would take this secret to his grave.At least that was what he thought. Until someday a maniac came into his life without asking for his permission. And he was fucking disrupting it.





	1. Looking Down from The Edge

_Sitting on a square bench, gazing absentmindedly at the sky, I remember, like I did yesterday  
How a little smile and petty quarrels, made me so much stronger _

_Since the, since then, I was searching for the other half_  
_Of that broken moon, so that one day, one day, I can return by the full moon_  
_Where cherry-blossom flowers bloom_

 

**SPYAIR - Sakura Mitsutsuki**

 

 

\--

 

The world _hated_ Gintoki.

Gintoki’s dim red eyes stole a glance to the man sitting next to him. The silver head was trying to read each movement from the dark haired man who was merely sitting there with a small smile, busy with his own thought, refusing to say anything.

The object of Gintoki’s affection was just looking at his empty cup, absolutely gave no effort in paying Gintoki attention. The handsome man seemed to enjoy the nesting silence between them, ignoring the laughter that a few seconds ago still could be heard in that room.

Gintoki could only guess. Perhaps something was going wrong with the man’s tongue. Thanks for the food that he called as 'disaster' earlier. Perhaps.

(Although for Gintoki, a bowl of rice topped with _azuki_ bean was like the world's greatest discovery, Gintoki silently mused. That’s something that the stupid black haired man wouldn’t be able of understand.)

Gintoki shifted uneasily on his seat. Thinking about what sentence he should have thrown. This silence was killing him. This was just not ‘them’. Moreover, this could be their last moment. This could be their time to say goodbye.

Even though the man before him had already promised to return, it didn’t change the fact that the fellow sitting next to him would soon disappear. He was going to leave Edo.

Gintoki _hated_ the world.

 

\---

 

The man, Hijikata Toshirou.

Toshirou.

If the perm head had the right to call that handsome man by his first name, he would undoubtedly continue to mutter it like a spell, day and night. He imagined the weight of that name when it was rolling on his tongue, picturing every kind of expressions that might occur on its owner’s face. Maybe there would be a snort. There might be a punch. Both were not bad. Gintoki was willing to receive any kind of response. Just because that man was Toshirou.

Their relationship was like the two side of magnetic poles. Mutually opposite. Somehow looked different. But unconsciously always pulled each other in.

Well, he was just trying to say that it was obvious that those attractions prone to exist.

It didn’t mean that Gintoki was not aware of this, he was just _too_ comfortable with the routine they were having. His relationship with Toshirou was nothing more than what people called by ‘rival’. He was just a figure of a competitor that fit Gintoki _too_ perfectly. Their minds were almost identical. Different but complementing each other like two sides of a coin.

Gintoki didn’t have any guts to step over the line. He knew his limit. He was nothing compared to the handsome man (although he wouldn’t admit this aloud in front of that rival of his). Toshirou was born to be a leader. Toshirou was _strong_. Toshirou was respected.

Toshirou, the man who was an Alpha.

 _Alpha_. The people who were born to be the leaders. The inhabitants of the throne of the highest ladder. Considered as warriors even from birth. Occupying the highest race far above the beta and Omega.

A place far too difficult to reach for Gintoki.

The position of Shinsengumi's vice-commander that once was carried by Toshirou seemed to reinforce the status of the man with the blue eyes had. He was Alpha among Alpha. A gene with an extraordinarily powerful aura that would drag anyone down on their knees when they were facing with him. Fascinated by him. Thirst for his attention.

The painful fact, it seemed like Toshirou had done that to everyone unwittingly. He unconsciously attracted anyone that he met, including our stupid protagonist, the silver curly haired man named Sakata Gintoki.

(Anyway, Gin would also rather kill himself than saying this aloud in the presence of any living creature.)

Toshirou had since long ago made his way into Gintoki's mind. He made himself comfortable by taking over one of the most important place in the silver haired man’s brains. He was squeezing himself inside the deepest corners of the poor man’s heart. And Gintoki was _pining_.

It didn’t take long for Gintoki to realize that he had fallen in love.

Gintoki, as someone with an ego that could go through the roof, blamed his hormones for all the confusions he had in his head, of course. He couldn’t do anything but to fight his own feeling.

He had to admit that he always enjoyed the occasional quarrelling routine that he had with the Alpha. No one could know that his heart was doing this upside down flip thing every time he managed to fish out a reaction of Toshirou. A response that was important for Gintoki because Toshirou only directed it for the perm head alone. Even though sometime it was only an angry twitch in his temple. Or a glare full of anger.

(Apparently, teasing Toshirou and watching him went nuts had become Gintoki’s new addiction. Though sugar always came first, of course.)

Then at the end of the day, as he was laying on his _futon_ with the reflection of Hijikata Toshirou's face in every corner of his closed eyelids, Gintoki knew who was the one that he had to blame.

Not his own self. Not even Toshirou. It was the stupid hormone in his body. The thing that made him hate the fate the world gave him. Because the hormone came from the hidden state that he always tried to keep as a secret...

(Well, in his case, it was perfectly natural for him to be interested in Alpha with a strong aura, right? It was easier for Gintoki to put it that way, if someone just happen to ask.)

Gintoki didn’t like his status as an Omega.

Oh. Did Gintoki mention that he hated the world as the world seemed to reflect that feeling back? The hate was mutual, you know.

Omega. Only less than two percent of the world's population had that status as their second gender. Seventy percent of human in the world were beta, while the rest known as the strongest race among human, the Alphas. Then, out of the two percent of Omega in the world, ninety-nine percent of the population itself brimmed with female. Male Omegas were a very rare thing to encounter. They could only be found in one of ten million ratio, if you were lucky.

And the most annoying fact for our protagonist Gintoki, he was _that one_ of the millions.

He desperately tried to hide the fact that he discovered when he was turning thirteen. Most of the samurai surrounding him were Alphas. They had the full right and chance to fight in the bloody field. Things that Omega like Gintoki should not have.

Gintoki knew. He knew that Omega should be locked tight in a golden cage. They were considered treasures by many, most sold at fantastic price to the nobles and treated like fragile porcelains. They were given the responsibility to protect the intoxicating natural scent that was seeping through their skins –  until the luckiest Alpha who managed to claim them came and took them as their mate. Then they would spend the rest of their lives as second-class objects, only given the duty to give birth to the children with the most powerful genes, and nothing more.

Gintoki _knew_. Therefore he tried desperately to be stronger. He trained harder than anyone. He wanted to be tougher than any Alpha. He didn’t want to lose just because of his status as an Omega. A status that was always viewed as a mere object.

Hell, no one should ever know about that. Secondary gender was just a _secondary gender_ and it was obviously not anyone’s damn business.

Luckily then, Shouyou _was_ there to help him. Not only helping him building his nest in hidden passage of a temple, the long haired teacher also sneaked a small potion box that could help Gintoki lower his hormone level when he was going through his heat, plus teaching Gintoki to make the potion by himself (he couldn’t be more grateful to Shouyou. He was still using that potion until now). Shouyou also told the curly-haired teenager about plants that could hide his natural scent as an Omega. Thanks to that, Gintoki could deceive anyone into thinking that he was an Alpha.

(Shouyou seemed to be well-informed about what was going through in an Omega’s body. Gintoki had never asked where he got the knowledge from. He knew the long haired man was not an Omega. But oh well…)

The biggest thing that the man with the warm smile had given him, he was also the one who made Gintoki _wanted to believe_. Shouyou believed that the silver haired kid would live as a samurai who could be respected just like any other Alpha. That he was never a weak person to begin with. That he could stand on his own feet without depending on others. That he could protect everyone around him with his strength alone.

No one needed to know about his status as Omega. Even his friend Katsura. Or Sakamoto. Or Takasugi.

Gintoki covered everything perfectly. He was known as Shiroyasha and feared by his enemies. The people on the battlefield also saw him as a strong and intimidating Alpha. He was always careful, he would not let his mask fall nor the secret slip. No one could know about the real him, he knew how dangerous it was to live as an Omega in the middle of battle field.

After the war ended, the silver head continued to live his life with people acknowledging him as an Alpha. Gintoki knew he had deceived all the people around him. Even Kagura and Shinpachi, the two teenagers that he loved like his own family.

Everything worked as it was supposed to be. Gintoki's secrets were securely hidden, even though the lives they had were never the peaceful, quiet kind one. There were lots of fun, intrigue, drama, even near-death experience waiting for them. But the mask worn by Gintoki had never been uncovered. He believed that he would take this secret to his grave.

At least that was what he _thought_. Until someday a maniac came into his life without asking for his permission. And he was fucking disrupting it.

Hijikata Toshirou. A man who suddenly came with an arrogant face, with his stupid cigarette tucked between his thin lips. That man looked like a dolt with his dark hair and that V-shaped bangs and the typical Shinsengumi uniform he was always wearing. His hypnotic pair of sharp eyes and ever-present-high temper, did nothing to fix his image in the silver haired man’s head. Gintoki was even more convinced of the man's foolishness when he found out how terminal his addiction to mayonnaise was, or the fact that his subordinate, Okita Sougo, apparently had obsession to take the handsome Alpha's life in every chance he encountered.

Without Gintoki realized, Toshirou was the only Alpha that he had allowed to stand as an equal to himself. He now knew the existence of that possibility because both of them seemed to fit each other too well and it was horrifying. Gintoki found himself falling deeper into these dangerous feelings and that wasn’t a good sign.

Toshirou was capable of pulling the Omega's side in Gintoki up the surface, until the Omega found himself floating on that dangerous shore, waiting to be exposed.

As if the fate was never content to play with him.

Gintoki loved Toshirou. And it hurt him.

 

\---

 

"Silence doesn’t seem to suit us at all."

The Alpha beside him widened his eyes, Gintoki could sense a sliver of challenge sparked in the gaze directed at him. The silver haired samurai smiled slyly. He finally got Toshirou's attention.

"This will be our last time together before I leave. Do you really want to fight against me at this crucial time?” asked Toshirou while raising one of his eyebrows.

Gintoki certainly took that as an invitation.

"I don’t know. Apparently my tongue is still numb thanks to the dog food that I ate earlier. My intelligence level also seems to be drastically reduced. I’m afraid I can’t give you a smart comeback that you deserve."

"Huh?! By dog food, do you mean the _Hijikata Special_ that you ate earlier? Just for your information, Hijikata Special is like the best food of all time! It’s nothing like the abstract-tasting cat food that I had to swallow few minutes ago!"

"Uji Gintoki is a food made for the geniuses. I won’t be surprised if a fool like you fail to understand the richness of its flavor!" Gintoki snorted loudly.

"It’s just tons of calories on top of the rice! Let alone geniuses, that food of yours will only create more idiots like you."

“That’s rich coming from a mayo-addict like you. Ask that to your dearest mayonnaise, question him about how many calories he has!”

The pointless debate lasted for about fifteen minutes until they decided to just leave it there and pay for the foods. The old lady, who had been watching their discourse in silence for this whole time, giggled and leaning forward over the counter to give a pat on the two childish men’s shoulders.

"I'll miss both of you and your chatter. Please come back again, _ne_?"

Toshirou and Gintoki stopped their bickering instantly. Both looking back at the owner lady with a startled look before striking their thumbs up in front of her.

"Sure thing. We promise we’ll come back."

The old lady smiled.

"You know? I will really miss you both. Hope you’ll always stay together because two of you will always be my most favorite couple."

 _‘Couple’_.

Gintoki felt the rush of blood rise up all the way to every corner of his face shortly after the shop owner spouted the last sentence. He didn’t dare to look at Toshirou. At times like this it was better to hide his embarrassment by denying what the old lady sa—

"Thank you for saying that old lady, I’m flattered", Toshirou said suddenly, cutting whatever stuff that Gintoki was about to say. Before Gintoki’s brain could comprehend what in the fucking hell Toushiro was saying, the dark haired man had already continued his speech.

"... I promise I’ll be back here soon after the condition is under control. For Gintoki."

Gintoki felt his jaw dropped and would soon dislodge when he was processing the words that Hijikata had said. His neck immediately snapped toward Toshirou, eyes wide open, and he had all intentions to inspect all kinds of emotions that might be decorating the stupid Alpha's face after saying those words.

Unfortunately Toshirou was one step ahead of Gintoki. The man had now turned his back, perfectly hiding whatever-expression that was crossing on his face. He walked to the exit, followed by the dumbstruck Gintoki.

"You-", Gintoki trailed behind him a second after they were outside. He noticed that the rain had long stopped, the air was now humid and chilly.

“Yorozuya.”

Gintoki stopped his step. The ex vice commander of Shinsengumi who was standing in front of him then turned his body until Gintoki was now able to see all the corners of his face. Even so, the Alpha was wearing an unreadable expression. Gintoki couldn’t tell what the man might be thinking.

"I-"

Gintoki waited as Toshirou swallowed.

“I- once-- have a regret--”

“Huh?” was the only smart response Gintoki’s brain could muster.

Toshirou's eyes glanced sideways. He suddenly looked very interested in a garbage can at the corner of the street. That was odd, considering that the black-haired man usually always set his gaze straight into Gintoki's eyes when he was speaking.

“Mitsuba.”

“Oh.”

For the first time Gintoki couldn’t really guess which way this conversation was going to take.

“Um. What’s wrong with her?” Gintoki asked as he realized that Toshirou was now not saying anything and just keeping his mouth shut.

The black haired man was like having an argument with himself about what words he should launch next. He opened his mouth before closing it again. Gintoki had never seen him in such an awkward manner. At least, not in front of him. The Alpha in front of him cherished his pride more than anything in the world and he would never show his weakness in front of anyone, including the man with natural curly silver hair in front of him.

(Although Toshirou once let Gintoki hear himself crying at that time when Mitsuba passed away, Gintoki would never forget that moment.)

Three minutes passed and apparently Toshirou was still struggling with whatever stuff that was going through his mayo-polluted mind. Gintoki knew they had limited time and he was getting worried. In approximately two or three hours, the handsome man in front of him had to leave Edo with his trusted (former) subordinates.

Gintoki counted up to ten seconds before he was finally giving up and decided to just take the matter with his own hand.

“Hey, Hijikata-kun.”

Toshirou looked up and locked his blue eyes with Gintoki’s red ones.

“Wanna go to a quieter place?”

 

\---

 

Gintoki took Toshirou to the roof of an abandoned old building.

The silver hair was watching as the Alpha shut his eyes tightly. He was like enjoying the gust of wind that was blowing over his face. A few strands of his dark hairs parted as he sighed.

Gintoki waited again.

Toshirou finally opened his eyes. He looked away again but this time, he only did it for a split of second. As if to make up his mind, the black haired man was now staring at Gintoki with a look of determination.

"Gintoki, I-", Toshirou let out a small cough. "- I don’t want to make the same mistake..."

"Pardon?"

"Yes. Like I did to Mitsuba. I- ", Toshirou closed his eyes again and drew a short breath.

"I left her without saying anything and I made her wait. I had never told her the things that I wanted to say out loud... "

 _Ah_ , Gintoki now understood.

So, it was about this.

Toshirou certainly still loved that sweet Beta girl that he could never reach again, right? This thing he wanted to speak should be all about her. But what did he mean by same mistake? Of course Toshirou would never put Gintoki in an equally important position with Mitsuba -

"You, Gintoki."

Gintoki's heart stopped for a moment. He had never heard Toshirou called him by his first name before--

"-- are one of the most important people in the world to me. And I want you to know that.”

Gintoki felt like he was struck by lightning. His whole body was stiff and he was just staring at Toshirou with a blank look. His lips were docked and they were unable to move.

At that moment, the mayo addict that he loved decided to take a step forward and approached him. One of the dark haired man’s arm raised before the hand reaching out - moved to stroke the curly silver hairs in front of him.

The faint red eyes and blue one met.

And at that moment, they both seemed to understand.

"These curly hairs of yours are always unruly", Toshirou smiled crookedly. "You know, when we exchanged bodies, I got to spend three bottles of hair gel to make them look more decent."

"If you ever pull off one of Gin-san's precious silver hairs, he'll cut your hand off, stupid mayora."

"Hey you reminded me of the money I spent to pay your children's salary. You haven’t returned it yet. How if I shave these perms off your head and sell them as a broom. Take it as a way to pay your debt off.”

"Tcht! You should be grateful that I didn’t trim that weird V-shaped bangs of yours, you freak! I spent hours in vain trying to redo that weird hairstyle! And don’t you dare to forget that I've lost a lottery prize of three hundred million yen all thanks to you!”

"Hey, don’t put all the blames on me. No one asked you to drop that winning lottery ticket. It’s your brain that needs to be fixed because it’s always unfocused! If only you could use that perm head of yours properly, Sougo wouldn’t have a chance to handcuff both of us!”

"You forgot who made my stomach upset thanks to the mayonnaise that landed on my innocent parfait?!"

"You always have problem with your digestion system and that’s not my fault! Who told you to eat too much sugar?”

"Look who’s talking. Take a good look of yourself. You’re already infected with the excessive amounts of nicotine.”

"Stupid natural perm with sugar addiction."

"You're a tax-thief idiot."

"I'll miss you, asshole."

"Me to-"

Gintoki couldn’t continue his words because something warm had suddenly locked his lips. Gentle, but also slightly rough.

A strong whiff of cigarette enveloped Gintoki when Hijikata Toshirou, the Alpha who he always secretly adored, kissed him gently.

Hijikata Toshirou, was kissing him.

The kiss was short. Seconds later Toshirou had pulled his face away from Gintoki’s, a flush on each side of his high cheekbones. From his now almost-unidentified expression (Gintoki couldn’t tell whether Toshirou was grinning, smiling, crying, or even panicking. He looked so out of character, it hurt.), the silver haired man had understood.

Toshirou didn’t want to regret anything anymore and he meant it.

"When will the ship go?" Gintoki asked, quietly enjoying the tobacco-smelling fingers that were still stroking his silver hair.

There wasn’t much distance between them, their noses were almost touching and Gintoki could see every strand of Hijikata’s eyelashes.The silver haired man was grateful that he was given the chance to enjoy this closeness without one of them trying to break the neck of the latter. It seemed that, at this very last moment, none of them cared about the cat and dog game that had already become a part of their relationship.

"We’ll leave after sunset. In about two hours.”

"Oh."

Gintoki was also the same with Toshirou. He didn’t want to regret anything. Their time was short.

This time, he was the first one who made the move. Closing his eyes slowly, he brought his face until his lips met with the Alpha's. At that very moment, it was like all of Gintoki’s Omega's side overjoyed and sang in harmony. He had never kissed an Alpha before. And it felt amazing.

(Especially since it was Toushiro…)

Gintoki felt all the hormones in his body was begging, asking for the powerful Alpha to just claim him right there and now. But Gintoki desperately restrained that side of him. He wanted to enjoy this as Sakata Gintoki, not Omega Gintoki. He might love Toshirou, or expecting him to return his feeling back, but the man didn’t need to know that Gintoki was an Omega. Gintoki wouldn’t let that happen.

However, it was increasingly difficult to keep that barrier when the Alpha decided to deepen their kiss. Slowly, there was nothing gentle about the kiss they shared anymore. Gintoki could feel Toshirou's tongue asking for permission to explore his mouth as it was poking the crack of his lips, something that he didn’t expect would happen so soon. He granted it anyway when he noticed that the Alpha’s hands were already strayed from where they previously stayed. They were now running down his body and sneaked inside Gintoki’s black shirt to explore the skins under it. It was almost like the Alpha was looking for more warmth from the perm head’s body.

Gintoki could smell the thick Alpha pheromone started to evaporate in the air that was surrounding him. He loved every second of this and he had been washed away by this invisible giant wave that swept all his self-restrains off. Fuck with barrier. Toshirou could get everything that he ever wanted from the silver hair because Gintoki was already so infatuated by him and he couldn’t get back.

 

\---

 

As their kisses grew heater, Toshirou managed to push them off balance and both of them were falling onto the tiled ground. Although it wasn’t a painful landing since the Alpha had anticipated it by pillowing the perm head’s body with his own arm.

Gintoki was now finding himself lying under the weight of the Alpha's body and trapped in the cage of his arms. Toshirou didn’t give Gintoki room to protest as he leaned down to reclaim the Omega’s mouth back, his fingers searching for the zipper of the perm head’s black shirt.

Refusing to let himself be dominated, Gintoki also grabbed both sides of Toshirou’s yukata collar and yanked them open. Big mistake. As Toshirou stopped the kiss for a second to stare deeply at the perm head’s eyes, Gintoki could now see every slope of the handsome man’s creamy shoulders and chest, and he was sure he was drooling.

"Gintoki--" Toshirou again muttered the Omega’s first name like a spell, his breath shortening in every seconds he took. His Alpha pheromones were getting thicker. Drowning Gintoki in his irrational minds.

They again locked their mouths with each other, this time more passionately. As if the kiss was the last thing they could do in the world, the only way for them to keep on breathing.

Gintoki felt Toshirou's hands slithering behind his shirt. It made the silver hair feel as if the man was everywhere, all over him. And there was nothing else in his life that he wanted more. Toshirou then proceeded to take off Gintoki’s yukata and belts, followed by his black pants and boots with the help of the silver haired man himself.

Gintoki returned the favor, touching every inch of skin from Toshirou's chest that laid bare in front of his nose. His palms went from his broad chests down to the Alpha’s sculptured abdomen that was adorned by some bandages and scars. He could feel Toushiro’s breath hitched in his mouth as he grazed his palms down the curves of his hips, before he untied the obi of his yukata and pulled it off of the Alpha’s body.

Gintoki wanted to flip them over, but Toshirou was faster than him. When Gin’s fingers were about to touch the bulge that already started to form in the Alpha’s black boxer, the dark haired man grabbed Gin’s wrist roughly and pinned it next to the silver hair’s head.

Gintoki let out a loud scream because, _God_ , Toshirou was suddenly biting roughly on his scent gland without any warning. It felt painful and weird at the same time because it was like the Alpha barged into his mind without permission. He was immediately _everywhere_. The bite was so rough, he could feel the teeth scraped through his skin and potentially drawing blood. Gintoki couldn’t help but whimpering and Toshirou seemed to notice the mistake he made because he stopped what he was doing. He looked like a deer caught in headlight.

“God, I’m sorry Yorozuya. But your smell--”, the Alpha was panicking, he then kissed Gin’s abused skin repeatedly, like he was apologizing to it. “--it’s just so sweet, it’s like nothing I’ve ever smelled before, I couldn’t help it. I’m so sorry I didn’t know what’s gotten into me.”

Gintoki tried to catch his breath. Even in his hazy lust-filled brain, he knew how dangerous this situation was. The Omega had to distract Toshirou before the Alpha came into certain conclusion.

“It’s okay. Just--”, Gintoki put both of his hands behind Toshirou’s neck and pulled him down. “-don’t think about it. Just kiss me.”

It didn’t take long for Toshirou to just follow what Gintoki told him and put aside whatever just happened.

In the midst of that increasingly heated atmosphere, for some reasons Gintoki's rational mind could still appear to voice his worries.

Were they really going to do it _here_? Gintoki certainly knew that none of them has any intention to stop now, and he knew where exactly this thing would be heading to...

Gintoki loved Toshirou. He would be lying if he said that he had never imagined doing this with the handsome Alpha. But on the other hand, Gintoki never had any sex with men before (he considered the incidents with Madao never existed), especially with an Alpha. He only had it with some Beta women in the past, and it was never with the same person.

All that he knew, it was incredibly risky for an unclaimed Omega to have sex with an Alpha. Gintoki wasn’t too worried about getting pregnant (he wasn’t in his fertile periods, and a male Omega usually only had heat once every three months). Although the risks of pregnancy did exist, but with a very small probability.

No, the other thing that worried him the most was the fact that he knew about _the claim_ that only an Alpha capable to do. If the knot fit, the claim would bind the Omega forever to the Alpha that did it to them. The Omega could no longer have intercourse with any other person beside their Alpha, because the bond would prevent them from doing so. Sex with other people would only torture the claimed Omega.

It was unfair and devastating, and everyone knew that.

If Gintoki could be honest - tied to Toshirou than any other Alphas was the only better option he could think of. The only choice he could accept from his shitty fate as an Omega. The Alpha didn’t need to know about that. The binding that Alphas did to the Omega usually wouldn’t affect them. An Alpha was still an Alpha. Toshirou could still do whatever he wanted to do after they were done.

Gintoki was a selfish man. He wanted to be bounded to one man alone. He had allowed Toshirou to do this to him, and for this reason, Gintoki would just let himself dissolve in the pleasures that the Alpha was giving him.

He would let Toushiro claim him.

Toushiro’s hands parted Gintoki’s legs and settled himself in between them. The Omega then sensing something hard rubbed against his inner thigh. He also noticed that his beloved pink strawberry boxer had long thrown aside, leaving him fully exposed to the Alpha. Toshirou was losing his mind, and Gintoki could see it from the hungry wild eyes that were fixated on him.

Hijikata grabbed Gintoki’s hardness and pumped him, his mouth latched to the sensitive spot behind the silver head’s ear. A jolt of intense pleasure shot through the Omega’s body as he slammed the back of his head onto the tiles under him. Gintoki could feel his slick started to trickle down his entrance. Their scents mixed together in the air. Sweet and musky. Smelled so perfect like they were meant to be.

“Mine”, exclaimed Toshirou as he was rutting on him. Gintoki didn’t know whose the one speaking now, Alpha Toshirou or the man he had fallen in love with.

“Gonna knot you and claim you-”

Ah. Apparently, Toshirou had unconsciously been swamped by the intoxicating scent of Omega that he smelled. Gintoki didn’t blame him, but that wasn’t what he wanted.

He wanted the man making love to him to be his Hijikata Toshirou. It might be wonderful to have wild animalistic kind of sex when they had all the time in the world. But there wouldn’t be another chance for them since their time was now limited. So Gintoki needed to get Toshirou back to him, and that was what he intended to do.

Pushing an Alpha who was in rut was almost impossible, especially if you were an Omega. But Gintoki was nothing like typical Omega. He had full control of himself and power equal to any Alphas. With a strength that could overpower the Alpha’s, Gintoki flipped their position over. He was now straddling Toshirou, the Alpha groaned after losing the control over his mate.

Gintoki gasped as he felt the hardness pressed up almost dangerously to his bottom cheeks. God. He _wanted_ it in him so bad but first, he had to bring the man he loved back to him.

“Hey, bastard.”

Toshirou’s eyes seemed to return to their focus, and he was now staring straight at Gintoki’s red eyes.

“You want to remember this, don’t you?” Gintoki touched the side of the Alpha’s face, and he could see the spark on the man’s eyes lit back to life again. “So please come back to your sense.”

Toshirou blinked and Gintoki couldn’t help but thinking how adorable he looked with a dumbfounded face he was currently making. The silver haired man was relieved when he saw the Alpha was now leaning his face into Gintoki’s touch. A soft smile was on his lips.

“I’ve never smelled an Alpha as sweet as you”, Toshirou caught Gintoki’s hands, and start to kiss his fingers one by one. “Can’t help it. Maybe it’s because the excessive amount of sugar you consumed?”

 _Hell no_ , Gintoki grumbled in his mind. _It was because Gin-san is an Omega, you freaky. It was never the Sugar’s fault._

Gintoki leaned down and leave a trail of kisses on the handsome man’s chest underneath him. Toshirou moaned as the perm head caught his nipple between his teeth and sucking it, one of his hand toyed with the other one. Gintoki loved to hear the voice Toshirou made and he looked so beautiful with his black hair matted to his sweaty face.

They hadn’t even gotten into the main business yet. As much as they both wanted this to never end, they knew their time was not long.

“Gintoki- ah. How do you want to do this-?” asked Toshirou as he grabbed the back of Gintoki’s perm head to get his attention. “Do you want to top or do you want me to--”

Gintoki didn’t answer. He only pulled Toshirou up so he was now in sitting position with Gintoki straddling on his lap. Their faces were almost on level now. The Omega grabbed Toshirou’s hand and guided it to the slit of his entrance, and the dark haired man gasped when he could feel the wet slick that was already presented there.

“Did you prepare and put the lube by yourself?” Gintoki just nodded wordlessly, bringing Toshirou’s head up to meet him in a searing kiss again. He was a little relieved that Toshirou apparently had no knowledge about an Omega’s body, like about the natural slick they always produced. That would make everything easier in Gintoki’s side.

A finger breached his entrance, making its way in, and Gintoki gasped at how _odd_ that thing felt. It was then followed by another, scissoring the Omega’s inside and Gintoki found himself whimpering in Toshirou’s mouth. (He had no idea that he would be the type that did _the whimper_. If they weren’t so aroused, Gintoki would be so ashamed of himself.)

The Alpha had now laid Gintoki on his back again, the three of his fingers went in and out easily, turning the silver haired man into a moaning mess. Gintoki didn’t know that it would feel _so good_ to have something stroking his insides like that, and he felt like he had wasted his life trying to keep his stupid ‘dignity’ as a man by insisting to be the one on top. Hell. He could be a man and bottomed and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Toshirou pulled his fingers out, kissing the Omega’s sweaty neck and whispered on his ear.

“Gintoki, I’ll go in-”

Gintoki nodded and Toshirou positioned himself. He could feel the head of the Alpha’s hardness was now pressing at the opening of his entrance. There was no lube needed, the slick had already done all the job. He then started to push in.

“Oh my God, Gin-- You are so-”

Toshirou was _big_ and Gintoki hissed when something as massive as that was thrusting up his ass. It wasn’t long until Toshirou perfectly seated inside him, and the mayo addict was cursing under his breath.

“Ready?” Gintoki couldn’t answer, so he just nodded slowly. There was only a slight pang of pain there and it was a bit uncomfortable, but nothing too much. Gintoki was just a bit overwhelmed, he didn’t trust his voice at this moment.

Toshirou started to move and Gintoki placed his palms on the Alpha’s sweaty back. The pleasure started to build inside his stomach and the smell of the Alpha was now all around him. Waves after waves wiped the silver hair along with the motions that Toshirou gave. The Alpha was latching his mouth on Gintoki’s scent glad again, sucking loudly like he was addicted to the sweet scents that he once had tasted.

Tears and saliva were all over the Omega's face now, along with the moaning and groans that slipped from his now slightly swollen red lips. He gripped Toshirou's back with his nails, scratching it when the pleasure became almost unbearable. He tightened his long legs around Toshirou’s body, pulling him closer and urging him to go deeper, his insides clamped tightly around Toushiro, sucking him in.

Gintoki could feel when the tip of Toshirou’s hardness was enlarged inside him, and there were several threads of fluid coming out as the Alpha's movement grew rougher. Few moments later Toshirou had found _that spot_ that Gintoki never knew existed inside him, and he screamed loudly as the intense pleasure was now taking over his sense.

Toshirou might be sensing it because he now attacked the same spot repeatedly. Gintoki could see sparks of fireworks feasting in his eyelids. Toshirou's voice sounded faint in the midst of the pleasure, and Gintoki was overwhelmed.

"Damn- You're so sweet- Good smells and everything - Gintoki--"

Gintoki tightened his legs behind Toshirou's back. Bringing the Alpha deeper into his warmth. His back arched as the storm struck endlessly now. He was so close.

"Hijikata--"

"Call my name, Gin--"

"Toshi-", another moan. "Toshirou!"

Gintoki didn’t want this to end soon. He struggled to hold his orgasm, he just wanted to record every second of the intercourse they were doing in his memory forever. The endeavor was ultimately useless because the Alpha then continued to rubbed the most sensitive spot in his body, stronger in each push. And Gintoki couldn’t help but surrender.

Gintoki was the one to come first. His gaze was overrun by white as he screamed his Alpha’s name. Feeling like the whole of his body was now erupting and burning. Toshirou followed him a few pushes later. He locked his mouth to Gintoki's to burrow a scream that was almost threatened to spill from his lips, spurting his seeds deep inside his beloved perm head. Gintoki drowned his fingers over the Alpha's black hair as their tongue reelected. Waiting for their senses to come back from the peak of the pleasure.

As they parted from the kiss and Toshirou pushed away his sweaty face, the silver haired man almost let out a not-so-manly-shriek from the stinging pain he suddenly felt. It was like there was one big thing trying to break through the wall inside his stomach. Oh. Was this the Alpha knot?

"Uh, I’m sorry Yorozuya. I know it might feel strange being knotted by a fellow Alpha. But you know the knot usually won’t get down in another ten or fifteen minutes. Are you alright?”

Gintoki just bit his bottom lip, contemplating about the best answer he should give. It felt painful and very uncomfortable. He wondered if any Alpha would feel the same way when they were in his position. But as an Omega, it surely hurt like a bitch. In the bright side, Toshirou still thought that Gintoki was an Alpha just like him and that was good. At least that would free Toshirou from the guilt for having (unintentionally) claimed an Omega.

"Shut up. It hurts like hell, you know. When we meet again later, you have to redeem it with ten glasses of parfait.”

Toshirou snorted and chuckled. He buried his head to one side of Gintoki's shoulder, trying to make their position as comfortable as possible with him still deep buried in Gintoki's body. Toshirou hugged his silver-haired lover tightly and kissed the soft skin that was now scattered by reddish traces and bites mark.

"Shit...", mumbled the dark haired man, lips still connected with the skin of Gintoki's neck. "Now I feel like I don’t want to go anymore..."

 _I want to stay by your side forever_ , was like the sentence that Toshirou left unsaid. But there were no words spoken after that. Gintoki sighed.

"...Don’t be stupid. You do this for the future of Edo", Gintoki put his palms on each side of Toshirou's face, bringing the blue eyes to look straight at him.

"I’ll be waiting for you. You go guide all those wild men of yours. Everything will be alright as long as you’re there for them."

Gintoki also didn’t want Toshirou to leave him. But there were things that both of them had to do. There were mysteries waiting to be solved. There were dangers that had to be defeated. And they had no other choice but to face them all.

Gintoki kissed his Alpha’s lips slowly. As if giving him strength.

Toshirou. His lover was now looking at him with the gentlest look that Gintoki had ever witnessed plastered on him.

"I feel stupid for doing this just now when our time together is almost running out. I wish I'd been more honest before.”

"Hm? You just realize that you are stupid?”

"Shut your mouth off, natural perm. You're just as bad.”

"It’s your fault to have such a bad temper. Hopefully when you come back you got more improvement in that department.”

"You too. May your lazy nature be a bit better.”

They both snorted and drowned in small laughter. This bickering was just the nature or their relationship, something that bound them stronger than anything. It was a comfort that other outsiders might not understand.

This was home.

Toshirou, still smiling, tightened his grip on Gintoki's body. He rested his head on the chest of the silver-haired man and closed his eyes, looking peaceful.

It didn’t take minutes for Gintoki to feel the exhaustion that started to attack him. Toshirou was still inside him and apparently he still needed a few more minutes to pull it out. However Gintoki couldn’t resist the drowsiness that started to dominate his consciousness completely. His eyelids began to close slowly and he couldn’t stop himself.

Perhaps this was the effect of the bond, Gintoki thought before darkness and deep sleep finally engulfed him.

He never felt more peaceful. And Toshirou was there with him.

Maybe the world didn’t really hate Gintoki...

 

\---

  


Gintoki wasn’t surprised when he found himself awake by staring at a rickety wooden ceiling in a place too foreign for him. He was wearing full clothes now and laying on a tatami without a mattress. He noticed the presence of a long-haired man who was watching him from the corner of the room.

"Hijikata-san brought you here. I thought something happened because you were unconscious. But he said you were just fainted after getting too smashed”, Katsura explained when Gintoki gave him a questioning look.

"And he-?"

"Already gone. The ships of former Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi members have already departed less than an hour ago. You slept like the dead by the way.”

Gintoki just nodded. There was nothing else he needed to know. He laid his head back on the tatami and stared at the ceiling.

Toshirou had left.

He was gone. But he had promised to return to Gintoki someday. Although neither of them knew when and how.

He left just like Shouyou, who once gone and then returned back as ‘something’ that Gintoki couldn’t identify. His beloved teacher was now presented as someone named Utsuro, a creepy figure that Gintoki didn’t recognize.

Gintoki squeezed his eyes tightly. Willing himself to fall asleep again. Trying to bury those horrible memories that were swarming wildly inside his head.

Unfortunately, he knew that only nightmare which would come to get him after.

  
  
  


 

 

 

\----


	2. Avalanche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since that day, Gintoki felt something within him had been steadily dropping. He couldn’t explain it - didn’t even understand whether the fault laid in his physical, mental, hormonal, or even his mood. Every second, he could only feel himself getting worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is beta-ed by my dear a_lovely_death. Thank you so much, Allie! <3
> 
> The beginning of this fanfic will follow the canon plot, hence I didn't put details on some of the parts that you can find on anime/manga (please beware of the potential spoilers if you're still catching up and you haven't reached farewell shinsengumi arc yet!), although the plot will differ eventually as the story progress (since this is an Omegaverse fic) and this fic will be more focused on Hiji/Gin relationship.
> 
> Anyway, the first part of 2nd chapter will be taking Toshirou's POV. This parallels Gin's POV in the previous one. I hope you would enjoy!

_So long, this is harder than you know_  
_But we'll remember everything_  
_It's tough to let it go_  
  
_Think of the nights we spent when we were not alone_  
_They remember everything_  
_It's tough to let it go_  
  
_Here we are again, falling for it_  
_Here we are again and we're falling for it_  


  


**Dead Air - Blessthefall**

 

* * *

 

 

In the past, Toshirou never thought that the time would come when he would fall in love all over again with someone.

Why? Well. He learned his lesson from his experience with Okita Mitsuba, a sweet and gentle Beta girl who had once been the only person he ever loved. Toshirou knew that there was no hope among them, their relationship wouldn’t have any future. The job that Toshirou did at that time was too risky, and Mitsuba didn’t deserve a man whose hands had been covered by blood.

He used to believe that Mitsuba would find her own happiness, instead of waiting for a man who had no choice but to ignore her. Until the very last moment, Toshirou had no idea that the woman he loved was always waiting for him - kept on loving the Alpha even when she almost married someone else, or when the illness continued to eat her body up, slowly and gradually.

Mitsuba continued to love Toshiro, even when the God of Death himself came and took her life. Even then, the man she adored couldn’t do anything but to hate himself. Basically, Toshirou knew there was no romance story that would end well if it involved someone whose life was filled with violence like him.

(Until now, he still blamed his foolish self for having done such a reckless thing in his life like fall in love.)

After the death of the girl he loved, Toshirou tried to lock his heart tightly and distract himself with other stuff. He immersed his regret and overwhelming sadness in the mountains of paperwork. He also focused all his attention on the tasks and missions he had. He refused to look up in case he fell in love again. He might spend the rest of his life being single. That, at least, would be the very least he could do so he didn’t have to unwillingly shatter someone's heart again.

However, apparently all his efforts had gone to waste because someone came barging in to ruin his life before he knew it. Such bitter irony.

Some time ago, even before Mitsuba’s death, Toshirou had tried his best to ignore a certain person who somehow always managed to squeeze their way into his brain at the very wrong time. Unconsciously, he began to accept the fact that, perhaps, only that person was capable of stealing the key to his hardened heart. The only man in the world who had the ability to break the so-called wall he built inside himself. One last being in the universe that had a chance to settle down in their own place in Hijikata Toshirou’s mind.

That person. The fucking lazy perm head. The silver haired bastard called Sakata Gintoki.

Gintoki. A name that Toshirou never even dared to utter aloud. He didn’t understand what was so good about that idiot. Toshirou only knew that people around Gintoki always called him an Alpha who liked to waste his own potential by being extremely lazy. He also knew the silver haired man was also surrounded by people who were slightly possessive over him. Toshirou had to admit, the jerk indeed had the skill to attract every worst kind of living being to him. And Toshirou, though, he would never  _ ever  _ say it aloud in front of any living creature, was one of Gintoki's worst victims.

At first Toshirou didn’t expect that he would, once again, fall hopelessly in love - especially with someone like Sakata Gintoki, the man who (he concluded) had an Alpha status just like him.

(Although apparently Gintoki had never unleashed the powerful Alpha aura that could normally be used to intimidate an opponent. He might merely hide it for unknown reasons. Hell, Toshirou didn’t want to know nor care.)

Toshirou knew he couldn’t make the same mistakes he did with Mitsuba.

Therefore, seeing Gintoki waiting for him in the middle of the rain, smiling warmly at him from underneath an umbrella, probably intending to say his last farewell - Toshirou immediately knew what the last thing he was going to do was before leaving Edo.

He had made up his mind. And he could only pray that the silver haired man wouldn’t run off screaming and calling him names after hearing what he would confess later.

Toshirou was going to tell Gintoki about his true feelings.

  
  
  


\---

  
  


It was hard when you had to leave someone you loved, especially when you knew that feeling that you had long harbored, might have been reciprocated in the best way possible.

There was no L-word said between them. Maybe because they both felt too old for that kind of cliché, or perhaps it was too out of character or all that jazz. Toshirou just needed to stare at those dim red eyes in front of him to understand. Those eyes which usually looked dull and bored, were now dazzled by a tiny spark -- as if begging Toshirou to just read what the owner might be thinking. No need to verbally deliver those words, their eyes had spilled all the things both needed to know.

What happened between them after that, was probably the image that would be forever imprinted inside Toshirou's brain in every step he took for his next journey...

The dark-haired man was now standing alone on the deck of the ship, losing himself in his own thoughts, the nicotine stick tucked safely between his lips. He quietly let out a sigh of relief when he realized that none of his subordinates seemed to have any guts to interrupt him. Toshirou's mind was wandering, thinking about many things, mainly the thing that had happened to him a few hours ago. He couldn’t decide whether he should feel regret or even blessed for them. For all he knew, he couldn’t help himself...

The most important thing he understood was that, Gintoki was there, waiting for him to return. He felt the departure even more severely now that they discovered each other in the most intimate way. The image of the silver hair that was sprawled like a halo on the floor where Gintoki’s head laid, that pale skin which was decorated with red marks -- together with the beads of sweat trickling down the silver haired man’s temple, falling steadily into the nape of his neck; the way his muscles flexed when Toshirou’s fingers caressed every inch of his body that they could reach, the warmth that the closeness of their bodies could provide, and of course the sweet intoxicating smell of the man that Toshirou had never thought Gintoki would have -- would surely always haunt him like a broken record from here and now on.

Shit. Toshirou didn’t even know if he could have a decent thought again when it came to Gintoki. He felt like laughing at himself. Who would have expected this? A (former) vice-commander of the Shinsengumi was infatuated by an infamous ex-Joui rebel, and of all the people in the world, the one who had stolen his heart was none other than the Shiroyasha himself. It started to sound like a really shitty joke.

(Wow. On a second thought, he was amazed that the legendary Shiroyasha had let a man like Toshirou literally  _ fuck _ him. Maybe he could hang this in his ‘most-unpredictable-life-achievement’ list that he soon would have.)

But there was one thing that kept bothering him. He knew that he shouldn’t think about this too much but he couldn’t help it...

It was about… the smell of Gintoki.

He couldn’t stop himself, okay. It was really odd, but he couldn’t help but wondering. He, once before, had slept with an Alpha girl from Yoshiwara (yep, even someone as busy as Hijikata Toshirou needed a nice lay once in awhile). But the woman didn’t have a wonderful scent like Gintoki’s. Toshirou had never even lost his control when he was sleeping with someone, unlike what had happened few hours ago in his activities with that lazy bastard.

Maybe it had something to do with the feeling he had for Gintoki? Maybe it also affected his hormones and played tricks with his head? Because from what he had heard before -- the intoxicating scent was usually only owned by an Omega. And no way in fucking hell that Gintoki was an Ome…

Wait. Was it possible if he-?

No, Toshirou interrupted his own thought. Screw this. He had to throw away those silly thoughts. 

He himself never really had an idea of what an Omega’s scent smelled like. Don’t blame him, how many people had met an Omega in real life? Toshirou knew that Omegas were so rare, they were considered as treasures among treasures. It would be very fortunate if you ever met one of them in your life. Usually, someone, who, at birth was announced as an Omega would soon be betrothed to a member of the royal families or honorable nobles. The best suited place for a ‘jewel’ like them...

Therefore, it was impossible for an incredibly strong and thick-headed ex-Joui samurai like Gintoki to be one of them. The idea was almost ridiculous. And Toshirou had to stop thinking about this before he--

"Toshi, what are you thinking?"

Toshirou was immediately snapped out of his pointless reverie. His attention was drawn to the figure next to him who had somehow joined him, leaning on the side of the ship right next to his side. That person was Isao Kondou, the man who was the leader of the group he was proud of.

"Uh. No, I just..", Toshirou took a long drag of his cigarette deeply, hearing a small laugh coming from the lips of his (former) commander, who instantly had silenced him.

"Did you meet the Yorozuya boss?"

"Something like that…"

"How was it?" Toshirou glanced at the Alpha man next to him, who was now staring at him with a small smile plastered on his face. "- your farewell? Was it memorable?"

Toshirou shifted his attentions back to the clouds in the night sky which were now colored by a slight sting of deep blue. ‘ _ Memorable _ ’ huh? Maybe that was the most understated word one could ever use to describe their last meeting...

"More or less," replied the raven-haired man shortly, giving his cigarette another drag. "How about you, Kondou-san? I hope Otae-san didn’t beat the shit out of you, because that was supposed to be your last moment with her.”

Toshirou had almost expected that Kondou would start his denial session - the thing he always did when someone was questioning his relationship with Tae. But not this time. The commander just wore a sad smile and Toshirou didn’t know what to say. He was rather stunned, he had no choice but to seal his lips tightly and wait for the older man to respond.

After a few seconds, Kondou finally broke the silence.

"You know, I wished she had just punched me as usual."

"What happened?" Toshirou asked carefully.

"She and Shinpachi-kun gave their farewell-" Kondou put on a sad expression. "--with a warm smile. That was something they never did before. They didn’t even want to say 'goodbye'. At that time, I really felt that this was real. How very difficult it would be to return to our old lives... "

Ah.

Toshirou didn’t say anything. He knew what Kondou said was painfully true.

All the fun and exciting stuff he had experienced with Gintoki, was now placed far back in his mind -- like it had happened years ago, and was never to return. Those silver hairs and that annoying face that sometimes showed no emotion at all...

All of sudden, Toshirou felt like he was being swamped with a very deep longing for his idiot lover (he could call Gin that after what happened earlier, right?). Although a minute later, he ceased his own thoughts -- biting the butt of his cancer stick as he noticed how lame he was acting right now.

For God’s sake, he just left Edo a few hours ago! How could he have turned into this sickeningly mushy being in just a matter of hours?!

"So..." Toshirou let out a small cough, trying to find another topic so he could lift the mood of the older man who apparently would only grow even grimmer if the current conversation stayed. "What about Sougo? I saw that he managed to scare off some former Mimawarigumi members. What did he do this time?”

"Oh. He  _ does _ look scary when he’s wincing like that. The boy looks ready to kill someone,” Kondou looked a bit brighter when the topic changed. Toshirou quietly breathed out a sigh of relief. "But it’s the opposite, he’s actually just very happy, I suppose? But he desperately tries to hide it. So, he made a bizarre expression and now everyone is frightened of him."

"Heh?" Toshirou propped his chin, resting his arm on the ship railing, waiting for the older man next to him to continue his story.

"Before we left, he actually went out to look for the China Girl, though apparently, he would prefer to commit seppuku than admit his real purpose", Kondou grinned, and Toshirou couldn’t help but smile as well. "-- he came back with wet clothes and some bruises on his face and arms, but he looked very pleased. I think he managed to meet China Girl and say his farewell to her..."

“Sougo is never honest with his own feelings, I guess. That’s just like him.”

Kondou raised both of his eyebrows.

"How about you, Toshi? I'm not sure that your rendezvous with Yorozuya could be merely described by 'more or less’.”

Toshirou shut his mouth again. God. Kondou was an expert at this, wasn’t he? He always made Toshirou eat his words, that is.

"I promised I’d come back to see him. That’s it," Toshirou replied after spending approximately fifty seconds to convince himself that the words coming out of his throat wouldn’t tremble or sound awkward. He looked straight into his ex-commander eyes, hoping to find an understanding there. But he couldn’t find any since Kondou was now just smiling softly at him.

"Is that all?"

"Yes, Kondou-san. What else could have happened?”

Kondou didn’t answer his question with a straightforward answer. He just laughed as he smacked the shoulder of the younger man next to him repeatedly. Toshirou grimaced, waiting until the commander would stop torturing his poor shoulders and diverted their conversation to something else, perhaps to a more important topic.

However, apparently Toshirou was hoping for too much.

"You know, Toshi," Kondou said, still with a wide grin on his face. An uneasy feeling suddenly perched on Toshirou's chest.

"Yeah--?"

"Maybe you don’t realize it. But there's a fairly large bite mark at the base of your neck..."

After processing what Kondou just said, Toshirou felt all the blood in his face drain suddenly. He gaped and his eyes widened. He moved his hands quickly-- tightened the collars of his yukata in the hopes to hide the evidence that Kondou had pointed out although it was obviously useless since the commander had spotted it before he himself was even aware of it.

_ THAT DAMN PERMY JACKASS! _

"You don’t have to lie to me, Toshi. Congratulations on your relationship with Gintoki. I’m happy for you both!”

Even so...

"HUH?!"

Apparently, it was too late. The damage had been done...

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


When Gintoki woke up from his long nap, he couldn’t find anything but a total chaos that came to greet him tremendously.

First. There was an unidentified long weapon (read: dick) that stuck to his head in all its glory after he just awakened from his nightmare. It was enough to make Gintoki deliver the most powerful kick that for once, he believed could surpass Sanji’s from One Piece. He had no doubt that this incident would leave him with long-term trauma.

Second. He then realized that the owner of the 'weapon' was none other than Elizabeth, the stupid mascot owned by Katsura Koutaro, the old friend of Gintoki’s who was no less an idiot. Apparently, the group headed by Katsura himself now devoted themselves to protecting Gintoki, an incredibly unnecessary thing that Omega with silver hair had ever needed. However, thanks to a meritorious act from a certain stupid long-haired man, it now seemed that the entire population of Edo knew that Gintoki was hiding in Akiba.

Third. Still because of that great, wise, humble, loyal friend of Gintoki’s -- now the silver haired man had officially become one of government’s fugitives. Wanted posters with Katsura cosplaying as him were now spread throughout Edo. The idiot had even bothered to go through the trouble of destroying Gintoki’s image by making his photo look two hundred times more psychotic.

Four. Five. Six. Gintoki counted the mess that occurred around him in only a matter of days since Toshirou's departure. It had exceeded the number of fingers he had, including the toes.

He sighed. No one knew that he needed space to breathe more than anything right now.

Gintoki decided to walk quietly in the crowds of Akiba people who didn’t pay attention to him - right after his meeting with Nobume and some of the Kiheitai members who suddenly appeared out of nowhere few hours ago. He only needed few minutes in solitude, just to straighten out his mind and calm himself down.

Actually, the usual Gintoki wouldn’t feel bothered by all the commotion that happened, the life he lived was never the peaceful kind one to begin with after all. He might be as cool as Gin-san was known to people if only he were in his top condition. However, the current him was somehow different...

Since that day, Gintoki felt something within him had been steadily dropping. He couldn’t explain it - didn’t even understand whether the fault laid in his physical, mental, hormonal, or even his mood. Every second, he could only feel himself getting worse. The supposedly-buried trauma of Shouyou that he long had after his teacher’s death was now hitting his mind with maximum force. The fact that the former member of the Mimawarigumi, Nobume,said about their former teacher also didn’t help him. Instead, he found himself falling into an increasingly weakened condition...

(Oh, by the way, now Gintoki understood where Shouyou got all the knowledge of Omegas from. Surely as a person who had lived hundreds of years, he had learned everything about the human being, right?)

Gintoki knew he couldn’t show his vulnerability in front of anyone. Edo was a giant mess. The Omega could smell the potential of war that probably would soon occur in the future. Maybe it would be even worse than the past, because now it seemed to involve everyone in Edo.

He had to stay strong. He reminded himself that he did this for everyone -- for Kagura, Shinpachi, every creature in Edo, even Takasugi and Shouyou. Also for the sake of the Shinsengumi who were fighting on the other side - and of course for the bastard he loved, Toshirou.

Toshirou.

Gintoki felt his heart racing three times faster as the name flashed across his brain.

To be honest, Gintoki didn’t know whether to cry or laugh as he remembered that Alpha idiot he always adored. He should be happy because now, as an Omega, he was officially bonded to Toshirou. Although the Alpha himself didn’t have any clue about that...

The Omega wasn’t able to shake the bad thoughts out of his head. Would Toshirou hate him if he found out that the silver haired man had secretly made made a one-sided bond with him, especially to an Omega like Gintoki? The silver haired man knew that he had dug his own grave. He couldn’t imagine how his next heat, heat that he would probably have in 2 months, was going to be like. He didn’t understand the risk that he would have to endure when a bonded Omega spent their mating period without the presence of their Alpha. In fact, he also didn’t have any clue about the consequences his body would receive after...

Was this unstable condition he currently had caused by the incomplete bond? No.  _ No _ . Gintoki hoped it wasn’t that. He wanted to recover as quickly as possible. He had a lot of things to do now, including--

"GIN-SAN!"

Shinpachi's voice. Followed by Sadaharu's distinctive barking, and the sound of their increasingly loud, pounding steps.

"GIN-SAN! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!”

They looked panicked.

"Shinpachi, what is--"

"KAGURA IS GONE!"

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Apparently, Kagura had left the earth along with the remaining crew of the Kiheitai. It didn’t take long for Gintoki and Shinpachi to realize that -- and they’d been able to decide what they had to do next in split of seconds.

And that was exactly why they were now on Sakamoto's ship, a trader with a loud, annoying laugh that once fought side by side with Gintoki in the war against the Amanto. The journey they had would be very dangerous, because everyone knew even the Shogun himself was hunting them down, and it didn’t even include the potential attack from Harusame.

"Gin, do you have a tactic that we can use to distract Shogun?" Katsura asked Gintoki when all of them, including Gintoki’s gang and Sakamato’s ship crew, sat around a round table. They were talking about the most appropriate steps to take to face their enemies soon, and so far, none of the ideas sounded plausible.

Gintoki blinked. He didn’t realize that Katsura’s face was now in such a close proximity to his, staring at him with a deadly serious expression. Actually, Gintoki's mind was in turmoil - he wanted nothing more than to lay on his favorite futon and pray that all the pain he felt would soon disappear. Secretly he also hoped that Katsura wouldn’t be aware of the rain of cold sweat that was trickling down Gintoki’s forehead and nape. No one could ever know that he was in a near-depressive state.

"Oh," Gintoki responded. He tried to wear his best ‘enlightened’ face, because everyone's attention in the room was now centered on him. "I have one idea..."

"Oh, mind to elaborate, Kintoki?"

Usually Gintoki would be angry if he heard Sakamoto calling him by the wrong name. But he had no energy to do that now. He could only sigh and decided to just ignore him.

"Ah. What if we do the opposite of what they’re expecting? Starting from now, we can trail the fleet of their spaceships while installing the camouflage. When they find it, we can just attack them from behind…”

Silence.

"OOOOH. OH THAT’S A VERY GOOD IDEA KINTOKI. "

"AS WE CAN EXPECT FROM SHIROYASHA."

"THIS WILL BE AN EASY WIN!"

Gintoki smirked as everyone seemed so excited about the tactics he was proposing. They then went on to discuss what kind of style they would use to strike and kick Nobu Nobu’s ass. Gintoki thought this moment could be a perfect chance for him to flee from the room and calm himself down in a quiet place. He got up from his seat, and hurried out of the room before anyone could notice.

Gintoki didn’t know that there was someone in the room who had been actively watching him. The person’s eyes followed Gintoki’s figure who disappeared behind the entrance door, staring at his back with an unreadable expression.

The person then decided to exit quietly and follow Gintoki.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Gintoki locked himself in a toilet he found at the corner of a corridor.

He felt terribly sick. Cold sweat was now flowing swiftly down his pale face. A few strands of his silver hair stuck to his forehead and temple. Even the joints all over his body were protesting against him, the bones of his back twitching painfully and Gintoki was sure he had never felt this way even when he was wounded with the most severe injuries.

But one thing Gintoki couldn’t handle the most was the bad thoughts that swarmed like crazy in his brain. Shouyou's death scene repeatedly spun in his memories, along with Utsurou's gruesome smile as the immortal nearly cut off his neck back on the prison island. The trauma now had a permanent place on one side of his head and it drove him crazy.

Gintoki also couldn’t stop the prejudice that spread like a virus in his chaotic brain. How Toshirou would hate him when he found out that Gintoki was Omega. How Toshirou would leave him. The Alpha would find a nice girl like Mitsuba during his long journey. Toshirou probably wouldn’t come back. Gintoki would be trapped forever in unilateral ties that would never be completed.

The silver haired man scooped water from the sink and splashed it on his pale face. He let the water fall down his chin and the tips of his hair. He then wrapped his arms around his shaking body; Gintoki wanted nothing more than to just pathetically whimper and cry. He didn’t like the current state he was in. He wanted to be free. He had urgent things that he had to face and he didn’t have time for this...

Was this messed up state purely caused by the bond? Thinking about that possibility, Gintoki wanted to smash his own head on the steel floor under his feet. He shouldn’t have made such a reckless choice. At that time, he could’ve stopped Toshirou if he wanted to (and knowing Toshirou, he was sure the Alpha wouldn’t force him if he told him to stop). Gintoki had no idea what effect an Alpha would have on his body - especially an Alpha with genes as strong as Toshirou -when they claimed an Omega like him. He was overwhelmed by greed at the time, desperately wanting Toshirou to be the only Alpha who could bind him...

Gintoki felt butterflies squirm inside his lower stomach, and he felt more and more nauseous.

...he wondered, if Toshirou was here with him, would he feel better? Would the presence of his Alpha soothe these pains down?

Gintoki jumped when he suddenly heard someone knocking frantically on the toilet door. He hurriedly wiped his now glazed eyes, and tried to make his messy, curly hair look a little more decent. Pressing the flush button just to make his activities inside the toilet look more convincing, Gintoki answered the knock with a shout.

"I’m done! I’m done! Sorry I’ve got this big crap stuck in- "

"Gin-san?"

Gintoki stopped.

Shinpachi?

"Gin-san are you inside?" Shinpachi asked again, and Gintoki clearly heard the blatant worry in his voice. "Gin-san?"

If he insisted on locking himself inside the stall, Gintoki knew he would only make the teen grow even more worried. After a brief debate with himself, Gintoki finally decided to open the door that separated the two of them, putting on his best ‘I’m okay why they hell you are here’ expression.

Shinpachi looked aghast as he saw Gin - who only gave the teen a small, odd grin. Well, it supposed to be a grin, Gintoki silently mused, but maybe it looked more like a grimace now since he was also trying to hold back the pains he felt in his body.

"Hi, Patsuan ..."

"Gin-san, you look so pale!”

"Maybe I ate something weird earli-"

"GIN-SAN! There’s something obviously wrong with you!” Gintoki didn’t have time to protest when his protégé suddenly put his palm on his sweaty forehead. "My God, your body is so cold, Gin-san. What’s wrong? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

"I'm all right, Shinpac--"

The wave of nausea that Gintoki had desperately tried to hold back, suddenly attacked him again with full force. He immediately clamped his mouth and pushed Shinpachi who looked even more frantic - running toward the closet that stood not far behind him.

His eyes filled with tears as he emptied the content of his stomach to the toilet bowl, hugging it as he continued to puke. He felt the bespectacled teen’s hand was now stroking his back, trying to say something in gentlest tone possible in the middle of the dizziness that Gintoki started to feel.

"Gin-san, we have to see a doctor after this."

"No, Patsuan. I'm okay, the Shogun's ship must be coming now--”

"Gin-san! You can’t fight in this condition!”

"I'm fine”, Gintoki said again, slapping Shinpachi's hands away as he tried to help the silver haired man to stand up. He almost fell when he stood, but Shinpachi was there to support him.

"Gin-san, please tell me if there's anything..."

"I told you, there's nothing wrong with me”, Gintoki tried to convince the teen next to him shortly after he rinsed his mouth and washed his face with the tap water. He stared at Shinpachi briefly afterwards, took a short breath and smiling as he realized how worried the boy might be feeling right now.

"I'm all right," Gintoki patted the teen’s shoulder. Shinpachi looked unsure, but he nodded anyway.

“You will tell me if something goes wrong, got it?”

Gintoki nodded. "Gotcha. Everything will be alright, Shinpachi."

Or at least, that was what Gintoki hoped.

 

 

 

 

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think some of you might already expect which route that I will take for this story, it's been long since the first time I wanted to write something like this *cries*
> 
> Also, like I said at the beginning, I wouldn't put much details in the conflicts that I adapted from the canon plot, but ofc the ending and all will be different, since we're taking the ride on A/B/O rail! ;D This story might have 4-7 chapters, it really depends on how the story writes itself.
> 
> Tell me what you think and if you have headcanon of how this story will be heading. I'd love to hear more from you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write a Gintama Omegaverse fic, so yeah, this is what I've come up with. I posted the Bahasa Indonesia version on Fanfiction.net, it's a bit different with the English one here since the smut in this one is much more detailed, turned out writing smut in my native tongue is a bit awkward and... weird.
> 
> So yeah, tell me if you want more of this! Thanks for reading!


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